Well, I have one of my own to post....
- As soon as I met you, I reached out to you and the entire family. I called for birthdays. I sent e-mails and photos whenever Rob and I did anything major with the house. I shared photos of our vacations to be sure you could see how happy and loved your son is. I sent thank you cards for your kindness and gifts. I strived to learn your language and family traditions with the intention of passing them on to our children. When Tata was in town, I made it a point to visit him, cook dinner and keep him company while Rob was at work.
I tried, in so many ways, to reach out to you personally. To establish a relationship that was between you and me.
Have you ever called me directly? Do you know my phone number? How about my birthday? Do you know my religious beliefs?
It doesn't matter that I loathe the catholic religion. I still smile and go along while I'm at your house. I believe in respecting others' beliefs. A kindness that I have not received in return. I think sometimes you all forget that I am not your son's high-school girlfriend, but a grown woman entitled to my own path in life. A path that Rob and I have chosen to walk together.
I expressed to Rob years ago that I did NOT want to get married in a Catholic Church. He was ok with that until you and the rest of the family started screaming at him about it. Screaming at him while I sat there with my heart aching and watched the stress go through his eyes. Did you ever once consider ME and what I want in this equation? I compromised my beliefs for Rob because I knew that you would not leave him alone about it. Rob is what matters most to me. We are planning our life together. This day is supposed to be about what we want, who we are and how we want the first day of the rest of our life to be. It is not about you, it is not about Ela, it is not about my parents. Why can't anyone understand that?
You complain to others that you are not included in the planning of our wedding. Have you picked up the phone and called me? Perhaps ask me how everything is going? You only mention it in response to a conversation or e-mail that I have initiated.
You have criticized the location of the reception, the number of guests, the desire to not have it at the church...and these are only the things that I have caught wind of. I can only imagine what you have said that I did not hear. I think that all goes beyond you just being the 'honest friend' and speaking your mind. You have taken it to a level to cause me to be on constant defense.
I feel as if you are trying to play the victim here Bogumila. This is not the first time that you have claimed to be innocent of all and that all you want is for me to be happy and look to you as a second mother. Please, help me to understand how I could do that. How can I look to you as a second mother when you have made no attempt to get to know me or respect the differences about me and my 'world'. You've tried to make it out as though I'm some horrible daughter-in-law that is not including you in our lives. When, in all honestly, I just gave up trying.
